Working with Anger
It’s not easy accepting you have a problem with anger. Anger is a normal human emotion. We will all feel anger in the same way we will all feel happiness. Sometimes it’s fleeting, sometimes it can hang around. It’s what we do with our anger that can sometimes cause problems. It can get us into trouble and damage our relationships at home and our careers in the workplace. It can even break up families.
When working with clients who experience difficulties in managing their anger, we use a dual approach.We often find it useful to look at the causes for the emotional response. Everything in our past is with us in our here and now. You can’t change the past but you can learn from it. If you understand why you respond the way you do, you can do something about it – you can make different choices.
Working therapeutically with a counsellor to unpack and understand why you respond to things the way you do will give you a deeper level of self awareness. This personal development will not fundamentally change who you are but it will allow you to become your best self. Clients we have worked with tell us they feel calmer, more in control and those around them, less anxious.
Anger is a complex emotion around which many myths exist. No one is born angry, no one can make you angry, you don’t just ‘explode’ with anger. 0 – 60 doesn’t exist. Anger can begin to manifest before you even realise it is there. It can be an accumulation of events that happen days, hours or minutes before you experience an anger episode.
Managing anger in the moment requires work to build a toolkit of strategies and techniques. Initially you will need to notice what happens to your body. There is a physiological change in the chemistry released when you experience heightened or prolonged periods of anger. Some notice their breathing or heart rate changes. Others that they lose focus and become fidgety. Recognising these signs is the first stage of managing anger.
The earlier you become aware of changes the easier anger is to manage. Understanding and using breath work can help. Breath work is a collection of breathing techniques that involve consciously controlling your breath to improve your mental, emotional, or physical state. It can help by releasing stress and toxins from the body. Yes, we know, we all breathe, all day, everyday. But how you breath can and will help you calm yourself during an angry episode. Your counsellor can work with you to develop a range of approaches to help you control the physical affect anger has on your body.
If you would like to talk to someone about how we can help, get in touch. Our Lead Counsellor, Sinead Tingley, has over seven years experience of working with clients where anger was having a massive impact on their lives. She worked on a research programme in 2017 with the York St John University Counselling and Psychology Department so understands the psychological and physical impact anger can have. She uses proven approaches to support her clients. To get in touch or register you interest in getting support, contact us at admin@serendipityyork.co.uk. We are to support you on your journey.